Learning to drive, getting a job, paying for things that you want, staying out later with friends, have a group that you hang out with, have a significant other or dating. These are all things that are explored in the newness of being a teen. Some of these things we want to talk about with our families, but there are some of these things that we don't. Our friend group is usually known by our families, as well as our significant other. However, if you are just getting to know someone you might not share that with your family. Things about jobs, getting a drivers license, and curfews families know about. This is typical of teenagers and it is equally as typical of parents to want to know.
Being a teenager is not all fun and games. There is a lot of pressure. Parents want you to continue to rely on them, but also want you to be independent. School wants you to take responsibility, but only gives you so much rope. You can work, volunteer, get in trouble legally, but you can't vote, drink, or smoke. The day is getting closer that you can give you life to your country and join the military. However, you still can't drink. So are you a child or are you an adult? I like to call it adults in training. I see a lot of teens in my office. I have great relationships with them. This is not because I give them what ever they want. It is because I offer them a space to be who they are without pressure. Some days my very tough client needs to be more like a child again. There is nothing wrong with that. Some days my client is very independent Most days my teen clients are somewhere in between and are usually very confused. Most do not know how to talk to adults. Mostly this is because a teen has had adults tell them what to do since they can remember. A teen is becoming an adult, and is unsure if he/she should talk with adults. It makes it difficult to trust a therapist, a school counselor, a teacher, a neighbor, and family. Many times a teen will be asked for an opinion and then told why he/she is wrong.
Teens are also going through their first sexual awaking. This is when teens think about things they had not really thought of before. If nothing has happened sexually the teen will imagine what it is like. Will be afraid of those feelings, but want to do what causes the feelings. Some teens are already experienced a little bit, and cannot wait until the next time. There are also those teens that did sexual things too soon and have no interest in doing them again, at least not right now. All of these feelings are normal, and nothing to be embarrassed about.
Therapy for teens is a great opportunity for a teen to go and not feel judged, intimidated, to be the best they can. It is a place to be themselves, and to work on anything that might be emotionally affecting you. In my office the only thing that I am firm on is if you do not lie to me, I do not lie to you. I also have a few words that are not acceptable. Mostly because they are words that are used to bully.
I am a therapist that really enjoys working with teenagers and preteens. I know that you are the future of our country. There is a lot of new ideas and intelligence in a teenager that is just waiting to show itself. I believe that you have a lot to say and just need someone who will listen!
Keep coming back for more blogs.
Put a little HOPE in your day!
Renee
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